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Unruly Sheep

May 24, 2017

 

sheep14:43 am
Memorandum
Dear sheep,

Please stop jumping over the non-existent fence by the dozens.  I’m trying to count you.   It was less than four hours ago when we started this project.  I recall the TV timer following the workflow process to the letter. Exactly one hour into our meeting the room went dark. The plan appeared to be fail-safe as I stopped recording the minutes.

Then, a mere two hours into the venture and without warning, your team changed strategy. While I applaud your efforts to push rocks up a mountain, the clacking of your hooves on the rocks diffused the forward motion.  There is simply no realistic way to measure the amount of energy wasted during the execution failure of plan A.  It seems your colleagues cannot embrace the cadence of how a collaborative effort might succeed.

To further accentuate my disdain, the herd is now fractured.  The split only ensures an apocalyptic culmination; as the goal cannot be obtained without the full host of associates focused on either one of the alternate plans.

I therefore submit this mission be aborted, and your team arrange their schedules to accommodate the next available training sessions addressing their collective behavior. Please keep them out of the weeds and on task.  We will resubmit this plan at the end of the day.

Please have one of your staff activate the coffee maker, since the birds are gathering in your field for breakfast.

Thanks,

Management

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